Alchemy Home Organizing

View Original

Why organizing isn’t working for you

POV: You got excited to start organizing, but 3 hours in you feel overwhelmed, frustrated, and exhausted. And you’re pretty sure your home looks worse than it did when you started. Tired and grumpy, you shove everything back into the boxes they’ve been sitting in for months, telling yourself you’ll try again another day…

If you’ve ever found yourself in this situation, chances are you fell victim to one or more of the most common organizing mistakes.

As a professional organizer, I’ve seen countless people - mature, intelligent, capable people - get completely derailed by these 5 organizing pitfalls. So let’s break down not only what they are, but how you can overcome them for easier, more enjoyable organizing. 

Mistake #1. Not decluttering first 

As tempting as it is to dive right into organizing, buying new bins, and trying to set up shiny new systems, I implore you to resist. Instead, I recommend starting every organizing project with a thorough decluttering. This is the perfect time to get rid of things that no longer provide value, serve a need, or hold special meaning. There’s no point paying rent/mortgage every month to store items that are no longer in alignment with who you are! 

I know that decluttering can be exhausting, especially if you have a lot of belongings. Just know that you don’t have to do it all in a single day. Avoid the overwhelm by dividing large decluttering projects into smaller, bite-sized ones - even as small as a single drawer or one bag at a time!

Remember that the fewer items you have, the easier it is to organize and the less tidying you’ll need to do.

Mistake #2. Decluttering and organizing by location

Another common mistake is organizing by location instead of organizing by category

An example: Let’s say you perfectly organize your entry closet (ie. location), which includes coats, hats, scarves, shoes, and umbrellas. You’re super proud of the new, perfectly sized bins, and how you got everything to fit just-so. The next day you realize you forgot about the basket of winter hats sitting in your basement. Then you find two more umbrellas in the car. And then you remember that you actually have 6 more coats sitting at the back of your bedroom closet. All of a sudden, the categories have multiplied, and there’s no way all those items you forgot about are going to fit into your new, precisely organized entry closet.

And so you have to start from scratch, rethinking all of your systems, and grumbling all the way. 

Or you simply give up.

This is why organizing by category is so helpful. Start any project by choosing a group of items and asking yourself, “Do I have more of these somewhere else in the home?” If so, go retrieve them and add them to the pile. Grouping similar items like this allows you to see what you have, what you need, and what you can get rid of.

Mistake #3. Buying containers before you’re ready

Containers are great for organizing, but they're not a magic solution. One mistake people make often is buying containers before they declutter, take measurements, or evaluate why their current organization systems aren’t working. We want to believe that everything will magically fall into place if only we have enough containers, but unfortunately that’s not how it works.

In fact, buying containers should be one of the last things you do. Start by decluttering (see Mistake #1), observe what you have left, and then buy containers that are tailored to your storage spaces, what you want to put in them, and your personal aesthetic preferences. 

There are many factors you should consider when purchasing containers but the main ones are the size and shape of your items, as well as the location where they will be stored. 

Don't just buy the first container that catches or eye or is on sale! It might not be the best fit for your belongings or your living space.

Mistake #4. Not knowing your “Why” 

One of the most important steps in organizing is determining your '“why.” Take a moment to consider what motivates you to declutter and organize your home. Is it to make your home more functional? To reduce stress? To make more space? To be able to welcome guests with pride? To take better care of yourself? What are the underlying emotions that are driving your desire for change?

Then get clear on your vision for your home. How do you want to feel in your home? What type of experiences do you want to have there?

Journal on each of these questions to get crystal clear on why you want to organize. This knowledge will help you stay focused and motivated, even when the going gets tough. You can even write your why(s) down and post them somewhere visible, such as your refrigerator or bathroom mirror, to serve as a constant reminder.

Mistake #5. Trying to do it all alone

I struggle a lot with asking for help. Over the last few years I’ve gotten better at it, but it’s still something I find quite uncomfortable, for many reasons I won’t go into right now.

Suffice it to say, I know how hard it can be to ask for help. To admit that you need support, guidance, or simply a caring presence. 

And when it comes to our homes, it can be downright painful to ask for help. The home is an extremely personal space, so it’s natural to feel vulnerable when asking others to help you get it under control. We are told that our homes are projections of our inner worlds. That a cluttered home reflects a cluttered mind (for the record, I think that’s a gross over-simplification of the relationship between our inner and outer worlds). Which leads to feelings of embarrassment and shame, which only makes us more reluctant to seek help, for fear of judgement and ridicule.

So instead, we try to do it all alone, thinking that if we just work harder and longer, we’ll eventually get it done. 

But here’s the thing. It's okay to ask for help. 

One more time for the folks in back:

IT’S OK TO ASK FOR HELP.

I’m going to go a step further and say that it is downright brave to ask for help. It is admirable to ask for help. And it is smart to ask for help.

As Americans we have been particularly socialized to believe in the superiority of the individual and the nuclear family unit, but the truth is that human beings aren’t meant to “do it all alone.” We’re supposed to work together. We can make amazing things happen when we work collaboratively!

Organizing doesn’t need to be a one-person job. It's okay to ask a friend or family member for help (though be sure you are asking someone who will be kind, compassionate, and patient with you). Alternatively, you can hire a professional organizer - sometimes it’s actually easier to do this work with someone who isn’t a friend or relative. Whoever you choose, having someone else there to offer support, guidance, and accountability can make the process much easier, more enjoyable, and less stressful. 

These are the 5 most common pitfalls that I see people struggle with over and over. The good news is that you CAN learn to avoid them. Simply being aware of them is half the battle. Take the process step by step, and have faith that you will reach the finish line, even if it takes a little longer than you hoped. To end, I’ll leave you with a little nugget of wisdom that one of my students quoted recently:

“It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop.” - Confucius

And I believe in you.

If you need a little help, sign up for a free 20-minute consultation to talk about your space and how you can start transforming it from overwhelming to downright enchanting.

xo,

Joanie